A Pleasant Surprise
by Yaoi Kazaoi
Summary: Nero gets more than he bargains for when he has to help a drunken Dante up to bed during a wild party. DantexNero. Requested by a friend. M for sexual themes and an F-bomb.
1. Chapter One

Had he known what this was going to turn into, Nero would never have gone to the party hosted by the Devil May Cry crew. At least it wasn't in the shop itself. Dante had rented out the lobby of some local (yet surprisingly fancy) hotel. Where the extra money came from, Nero didn't know. Nor did he know what the hell he was doing, marching up the steps to the noisy building. But Kyrie insisted, and she was hanging onto his arm with a vice-like grip that made sure he couldn't escape.

The devil child had to admit that he wasn't very shocked by what he saw when he and Kyrie pushed open the heavy doors. The hotel's interior was covered in the usual signs of a party: paper cups and plates littered the floor, the buffet table was picked clean, chocolate icing (Nero _hoped _ it was chocolate icing, anyway) was smeared across one of the walls.

The party goers were in their usual place: Trish and Mary were having a cat fight that was refereed by Vergil, clients were acting slightly more normal then the DMC crew, and Dante was singing drunkenly as he attempted to dance on a three-legged bar stool.

"Do we _really]_ have to go in there?" Nero asked, pulling his navy blue cap down on his head. He had ticked off an old witch a few days ago and she retaliated by hitting him with a curse that caused him to sprout white cat ears and a matching tail.

The hat did a decent job of hiding the ears, and the tail was tucked into his pants. It was uncomfortable, but at least no one knew about his . . . mutations.

Instead of answer his question, Kyrie just laughed and pulled him into the fray.

The first couple of hours were okay. Nero talked with the clients, danced with Kyrie, and avoided Dante. The crowd was starting to disperse and Lady and Trish had resolved their differences (for the next twenty minutes), so they rounded up the remainder of the party for a nice, relatively quiet chat around the grand fireplace.

Nero managed to grab one of the big easy chairs towards the back and Kyrie sat on his lap. He was starting to fall asleep just listening to the drone of the more talkative guests when Kyrie mentioned that her cup was empty. Without a word, Nero obediently slid out from under her and went to get more soda.

Honestly, he was glad to have a break from all the boring chit chat, even if it was just a short trip to the other room and back. He quickly changed his mind, however, when the pushed open the swinging doors and the following words assaulted all four of his ears, "Heeeeeeey, you know, I've dated a _mop]_ before, but you're something else!"

Searching for the source of the drunken outburst, Nero found Dante sitting on the floor beside the stool he had been standing on earlier.

"What are you doing, moron?" Nero asked, opening the fridge and rooting around in search of strawberry soda.

"The real question," Dante smirked and tried to get on his feet, but failed miserably at both. "Is: what are _you _ doing, wrecking our evening?" He held the stool close and whispered, "Just ignore him, honey."

Nero rolled his eyes and opened a can of soda. He filled the glass and by the time he was done, Dante was leaning on the counter beside him with the stool in one hand.

"Hey, Nero," Dante grinned, waving the stool slightly. "How many gay guys can you fit on this stool?"

"I don't know, Dante," Nero said with mock interest. "How many?"

Dante flipped the stool over so that the three legs were in the air and shouted, "Three!" He collapsed on the ground, shoulders shaking with mirth. Collecting himself, he stroked the legs of the stool, mumbling, "Don't worry, baby, I'm kidding. You know I'm the only guy for you."

"Idiot," Nero growled, heading out the door. Dante was pretty quick for a stupid drunk, though, and he managed to grab one of the boy's legs and used it as a way of standing via "crawling" up to Nero's shoulders.

"Ow! What are you doing?" Nero demanded as Dante wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close.

"You're so _little_," the man remarked as though he had just realized this. "You're like my little brother!" He laughed and started to give Nero a noogie.

"Stop it!" Nero could feel the cap working its way off. His new ears were twitching spasmodically beneath Dante's knuckles. He would just _die_ if Dante saw--

As if it had waited until that moment to ruin his life, his hat popped off and his ears were totally exposed.

It took Dante a minute, but when he noticed the cat-like features, he let out a squeal. Yes, a squeal. It almost shattered every window in the hotel, not to mention Nero's brain.

"Ears! They're so cuuuuuuuute~!" Dante exclaimed, setting Nero on the ground and examining his ears. The half-devil swooned dangerously, almost falling on Nero, who was replacing the cap upon his head.

"You're covering them up? ¿Por queeeeeeeee?" Dante whined.

"Because they're…they're…a nuisance." Miraculously, Nero randomly noted, none of the soda had spilled during that whole traumatic incident. He needed to get it to Kyrie.

He started to leave, but Dante grabbed his shoulder. Shaking him off, the newly dubbed Neko hissed, "Leave me alone."

"But, Nero, you--"

"Go away!"

Nero pushed open the door to rejoin the group, but just as he went to walk over to Kyrie, he sensed movement behind him. He turned to see the drunk idiot chasing after him.

"But Nero!" Dante was yelling, his hand reaching out dramatically. "YOU CAN'T BE ASHAMED OF WHO YOU ARE! YOU--" The half devil tripped and went sprawling to the floor. His hand reached out for something to stop his fall and alighted upon Nero's belt, which, unfortunately, went down with him.

Nero welt an unsettling breeze on his legs as his pants fell to his ankles and threw off his balance. He fell to the ground and the cap went flying off his head as the cup of soda splashed into Trish's lap. There was an awkward silence before Lady bust out laughing and everyone else followed suit.

Nero blushed a deep vermillion and sat up to survey the damage. Dante was on the ground behind him, apparently unconscious. One of his hands still held Nero's belt.

Nero's pants were utterly removed from his legs, and would have been completely off if they hadn't been caught up on his boots. Luckily his boxer shorts were still on, even if half of his butt was peeking out and the white cat tail was waving like a flag in the wind. Well, at least Credo wasn't here to see--oh, no, wait. There he was, in the back. Crap.

"Why don't you just take Dante up to bed?" Vergil suggested as Nero got his pants back on and stood. The blue-clad half-devil was the only one who remained serious. He handed Nero a key and said, "Room 22--upstairs."

"Why should I?" Nero demanded. This was answered by a whispered threat from Vergil that ultimately resulted in a blushing Nero leading a half asleep Dante up the stairs.

They finally made it to room 22 and Nero had to let Dante lean on him as he fought to unlock the door. He finally got it open and dragged Dante in and sort of dropped him on the bed.

"There, you idiot," Nero muttered. He shut the door behind him and went to the full length mirror to examine the carpet burn on his face from when he hit the floor. It wasn't so bad. The embarrassment hurt worse.

"Neroooooo~! Neroooo~!" Dante was calling from the bed. His voice was obnoxiously high.

"What?"

"Will you get me something?"

"No."

"_Please_?"

"If I do, will you shut up and go to sleep?"

"Yeeee-essss~!"

"Okay, what?"

"My bag, it's by the dresser."

Nero did as he was told and brought the duffel bag over to Dante. He set it on the bed and opened it, laughing at what he found.

"What's this?" Nero asked, waving a pair of handcuffs that were about 3 feet long in Dante's face. "A little toy for you and Trish's kinky fantasies?"

Dante just smirked and stretched out on the bed.

Nero giggled mischievously, his tail swishing back and forth, and cuffed one of Dante's hands. His plan was to chain him to the bed, but before he could act he found himself thrown down amidst a collection of silky sheets and there was a terribly heavy object crushing him.

Dante grinned victoriously and cuffed Nero's "normal" hand with the other cuff, so that the two of them were chained together.

"These were a gift from Trish," Dante murmured sleepily, resting his head on Nero's chest. "Not even _I_ can break out of them…and she has…the only…key…"

"You have _got_ to be kidding me!" Nero gasped, trying to shove Dante off of him. It was no use, and Nero gave up and collapsed back on the bed.

"Dante, get off!" Nero ordered. "Get off!"

His only answer was a loud snore. Dante was out cold, and the neko was stuck.


	2. Chapter Two

Nero didn't think he was going to sleep, but he must have because he woke up beneath silky blankets with Kyrie's arms wrapped around him. He shifted around so he was facing her, enjoying the sensation of his skin on hers. Had he been a real cat, he would have purred, but instead his tail twitched happily.

Kyrie sensed that he was awake because her warm, strong hands traveled lower down his back and began to caress his--

Wait. "Warm" hands he understood, but "strong" hands? And since when did Kyrie have a flat, broad chest? And she was so big… And she never smelled like alcohol (okay, maybe once, but that was Lady's fault). And was that . . . facial . . . hair . . . ?

Nero's eyes popped open and his soul withered away and died.

"What the _Hell_?!" He shrieked, leaping off the bed and grabbing a sheet that he held in front of himself. For a moment he cringed at how cold the floor was, but then he screamed, "_What the hell is this!? Did you . . . did you rape me last night!?"_

"You can't rape the willing," Dante smirked, propping himself up on one elbow, one hand cradling his head as the other grabbed Nero's tail and wrapped it around and through his fingers. The soft fur was all poofy because the boy was agitated. It felt so nice.

"DID YOU RAPE ME OR NOT!?" Nero demanded, wanting a straight (meaning "not gay") answer.

"Nero, Nero, Nero," Dante cooed, pursing his lips in what he hoped was a mocking--and sexy--way as he playfully tugged on the neko's tail. "Don't think of it as rape…think of it as a pleasant surprise."

"Yeah, this is just what I want to wake up to," Nero hissed. He wrapped the sheet around his waist, wished that he could get away from Dante but the half devil had a firm grip on his tail. Besides, he was still chained to him, he noticed with dismay. "Finding myself in bed with an old man like you. Jesus."

"Hey, now, with age come experience."

"Whatever, you pedophile."

"Make that PETophile."

"Shut up. Where are my clothes?"

"Wouldn't _you]_ like to know " Dane grinned and took a long tug on Nero's tail, causing the boy to flail backwards and land on the bed with a soft _whump_. Dante wasted no time in rolling on top of him, regaining his superior position from the night before, and pinning him down with one arm.

"In fact," Dante mused. "I don't know where _mine_ are, either."

Nero shuddered and was grateful for the thin sheet between them, but wished that it was a comforter or the entire mattress. No, he wished it was the Great Wall of China.

But nevertheless, it was nice to have_ something _ between their bodies, even if he could feel every one of the perfectly toned muscles in Dante's thighs as they rubbed against his . . .

Wait…was he actually starting to _think_ like that? God!

"Get the hell off me," Nero growled. Dante began to stroke his cat ears, gently tugging on the fur and exploring the soft pink interior with one finger.

"You're so grouchy in the morning, my little Neko--" At that word, Nero objected angrily, but Dante ignored him and went on. "--I wonder why. You were more than willing last night."

"The hell I was! I would never sleep with you!"

"You didn't say 'no' last night . . ."

"That's because I was out like a light, ding-bat! Just who the hell do you think you are? Edward Cullen? Bella didn't say 'no' either, you sick freak!"

Dante chuckled and kissed Nero's forehead, causing the younger man to blush. "You can deny it all you want, but deep down, you _know _you enjoyed last night."

"I don't even _remember_ last night," Nero said quietly, his anger diminishing as he realized just how . . . intimate he was with Dante in this moment. The half-devil's lips were traveling down the side of his face, caressing his cheek bones. The thin film of facial hair was both scratchy and soft on his own smooth skin.

"Well, that's a pity," Dante sighed, gently biting Nero's human earlobe. Then he allowed his mouth to travel down Nero's neck, leaving a little trail of kisses as he journeyed down to his chest.

"The hell it is," Nero said, trying not to think about where Dante's lips--and hands, for that matter--were, but the more he concentrated on _not]_ thinking about it, the more he focused on the previous night.

"Maybe I just need to jog your memory," Dante murmured. He sat up so that he was straddling Nero. Starting slow, he ran his hands over the boy's chest and began to sway his hips seductively, rocking Nero's body back and forth with him. "Doesn't this seem just the least bit familiar?"

Yes, now that Dante mentioned it, maybe this _was_ a bit familiar. Memories of the previous night were forcing their way into his mind and not budging, now matter how hard he tried to force them away. Then, unable to control his twisted mind, he lost himself in the memory, not caring that the only sane part of him was dying.

_Dante's hands on his hips…his mouth on his neck, gently biting its way down to his chest, lower and lower. The gentle rocking motion that grew faster and faster, harder and harder until Nero thought he could stand it no more. He voiced this in a soft moan, but Dante would not relent. He tightened his grip on the smaller body below him as their limbs twisted together and apart._

Then, in the present, Dante was looking down on him with an expression that was a worried/amused hybrid. He had stopped swaying his hips.

Nero could feel sweat all over his body and he shivered at the memory he had just relived. But it wasn't enough. Already the memory was fading.

"You alright, kiddo?" Dante asked quietly, his hand slipping under the sheet and traveling up Nero's leg. When the hand reached its desired destination, Dante's eyes lit up and he chuckled, "My, what large equipment you have." Then he answered his own statement in a high voice that was supposed to be his Nero impression, "All the better to shag you with, my dear." Reverting to his normal voice, Dante finished the joke with, "Yeah, you wish."

"Daaaanteeeeh," Nero moaned, having barely heard what Dante said. This was so wrong . . . but . . . but Kyrie . . . what would she . . .

What the hell. Everyone probably suspected that something like this had happened when Nero failed to reappear last night.

"Dante…I remember," Nero gasped. Dante began to tug on the sheet, pulling it off Nero's body. "Last night . . . I remember. . ."

"Do you really?" Dante asked, his lips on Nero's neck again. "Are you sure?"

"Yes . . ."

"I'd be glad to give you a second showing . . ."

"Yes . . . _yes_ . . ."

"I thought you didn't _want_ rape." Dante said, just playing with the boy now.

"It's not rape," Nero gasped, smiling as the sheet slipped away and Dante's skin slid onto his. "It's a _pleasant surprise_."


	3. Chapter Three

The next time Nero awoke, he knew exactly where he was. He also knew exactly what had just happened and his relatively small body was beginning to feel the effects.

Stiff and tired, he sat up and checked to see if Dante was asleep. The devil hunter was out cold, his arms wrapped around Nero's waist and his head resting on the boy's leg. Nero sighed and stroked Dante's hair fondly before slipping off the bed and standing, wrapping a sheet around him like before. His plan was to find his clothes and sneak away quietly, but he had forgotten about one thing.

The chain.

The goddamned, unbreakable, devil-proof chain.

Shit.

"Dante," Nero hissed, shaking his new partner. "Wake up, moron."

"W-whu-whyyy?" Dante yawned, stretching.

"I need you to get me my clothes."

"Why?"

"So I can leave," Nero growled. Wasn't it obvious?

"Why don't you just stay here?" Dante asked, pulling on the chain so that Nero had to sit on the bed beside him. "It's almost evening, anyway."

"Wait, we've been in here all _day_?"

"Yup."

"Crap!" Nero jumped up and tried to break the chain with his abnormal hand. "Come on! I have to find Kyrie!"

"What for?" Dante asked.

"To explain . . . explain . . . last night," Nero's voice trailed off when he realized that he had no way of explaining it. What would he say? "Oh, hi, honey. Sorry about how I ditched you last night. You see, I was upstairs getting fucked in my sleep."? Yeah, that would go over _real_ well.

"Well, then I guess we had better find Trish," Dante sighed, rolling off the bed and looking under it. Nero tried not to look at Dante's naked body, but found it very difficult to ignore.

"Here," said the larger of the two, tossing Nero his clothes. "Let's get dressed."

It was an experience, getting dressed while being chained to another man who was _also_ getting dressed. The way Dante kept manipulating the chain to force the still naked Nero into some _very_ awkward positions ("I call _this _one 'riding the pony'!") wasn't helping either, but they eventually got their clothes on.

"I still think we should have taken a shower before going out," Dante muttered as Nero locked the door behind them. Sighing, the boy turned and put his hands on Dante's shoulders. It was a stretch, but he managed.

"Look, Dante, last night--and this morning--didn't happen." Nero explained. "The story is that you collapsed on me, and you didn't wake up until just now."

"And the handcuffs?"

"We stick to the truth on that: I tried to chain you to the bed, but it backfired."

"And then we had flaming hot man sex, to Janet's* pleasure and amusement."

"Who the hell is Jan--wait, _No_. No. We. Did. Not."

Dante laughed and nuzzled Nero's human ear. "Kid, once the maid cleans those sheets, everyone in town will know. You can't deny it."

"I can _too_!"

Dante rolled his eyes and tugged on the chain, leading the neko down the stairs and into the lobby. "Okay, whatever."

The walk to the Devil May Cry was uneventful, mainly because Dante had retreated into an icy silence. Nero assumed that he was upset about the whole "denial" thing. He felt bad about being so mean about it, but didn't say anything.

Trish wasn't at the shop. Actually, the old building was absolutely empty. Dante grabbed a magazine off his desk and plopped down on the couch, dragging Nero along with him.

The younger sat with a decent distance between the two of them. He removed his cap and pretended to be very interested in it. After a moment's silence, he asked, "Will Trish be upset?"

"Nah," Dante shrugged. "She doesn't really care what I do."

"Oh." That was good. Nero didn't really want to be on the receiving end of Trish's fury. After another silent minute, he said, "I'm sorry I'm being so . . . difficult."

"Don't worry about it," Dante grinned. He didn't look away from his magazine, but put an arm around Nero's shoulder. "It takes some getting used to."

Nero nodded and carefully rested his head against Dante's shoulder. He didn't know how the man would react, so he hesitated before totally relaxing. "When do you think Trish will be in?"

"I don't know," Dante admitted, pulling Nero closer and putting an arm around him. "She just comes and goes."

"How long until she gets here, do you think?"

Dante smirked. "Why? What do you want?"

"Well, I mean, if," Nero, blushing, stammered and tried to find the words, his voice growing smaller and smaller as he said, "If you still want to take that shower . . ."

Dante's eyes lit up and he kissed Nero's cheek. "You're so silly. No, let's not do that here. My shower isn't the best place for--"

The doors swung open and Trish entered before Dante could finish his sentence. Subconsciously, Nero had filled in the blank with "sex." Trish did a double take when she saw the boys snuggled up on the couch, but then crossed her arms and gave them a look that plainly said, "Okay, what's the story?"

Dante took control of the situation immediately. Standing, he held up his arm to show her the handcuffs and said, "To put it simply: Nero and I had a little accident last night."

"Is that so? I'm surprised you didn't break his back," Trish rolled her eyes and wandered over to the desk.

"Eh, well, I went easy on him," Dante looked over and winked at Nero. This was a lie and they both knew it.

"Right," Trish said. "Now you want me to give you the key so you can get on with your separate lives, hm?"

"Well, I wouldn't say _totally_ separate," Dante laughed and pulled Nero into a hug.

The young man fought his way out of Dante's grip and said to Trish, "I need to get away from this creep so I can go talk to Kyrie."

Trish's face darkened and she sighed, "You really upset her last night, you know. She went home with Credo right after you . . . made an ass of yourself."

"Shit," Nero kicked at the ground, returning to his little emo state of mind. "Will you unlock us so I can go talk to her and explain?"

Trish thought about it for a painful moment, but finally said, "No. I don't think I will." It was more for her own amusement then for Kyrie's benefit, but she would be going with the latter when asked.

"_What? Why not_!?" Nero exploded. "What the hell is your problem!?"

"You need to tell Kyrie the truth. If I let you go, you'll probably ditch Dante and make up some stupid lie to win her back. Now you'll have to take Dante with you and tell the full truth," Trish explained, quite proud of herself for thinking that little lie up so quickly.

"That . . . that . . . that's insane," Nero gasped, deflating. He couldn't see anyway around it. "But you'll be inconveniencing Dante, too!"

"So?" Trish asked, just as Dante hugged Nero from behind and said, "Actually, I don't mind this set up."

"Shut up, then!" Nero hissed. "You're not helping!"

"So go apologize to Kyrie, Nero," Trish instructed, casually sitting on Dante's desk. "Then I'll let you go, alright?"

"You . . . you suck . . . you SUCK." Nero whispered, shaking with rage. Dante hugged him tighter and he had to admit that it was comforting. Annoying as all hell, but comforting.

"Don't get rude," Trish said, turning her back on them to signal that the conversation was over. "Just do it."

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*"Janet" is the person who requested this story :P


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